How well does the Shimwow work as a cumrag? Or would I be better off stealing your shirt and using that?

“Hi Anon! It’s your girl Sunset from ShimWOW here! Now, while the Shimwow works on many various forms of liquid, unfortunately it doesn’t work for your intended purpose. Sorry!

“But now that you bring that up, it let’s me advertise my other latest product! I call it, "If you try and take my shirt from me, I’ll shove this ShimWOW down your throat and fucking kill you!”

“It’s usually an extra $1,399.99, but in your case, I’ll send it to you absolutely free! All you have to do is give me your name, address, and credit card number so I can buy a plane ticket and send you the free product myself!

"So go ahead, Anon! You can try it if you want, and if you don’t die at first I’ll give you a full cash refund and try again anyways! Pinkie Swear! So don’t be a pussy and hide behind that greyfaced mask! Call now!”