Two Best Friends Play sentence starters (part one)

heterxdox:

Quotes from the videos of Two Best Friends aka thesw1tcher. Some NSFW. Feel free to use these

 ❝ I am a detective…this is a good idea; I use critical thinking❞
❝ Stop kicking the dead bodies- you’ve already eaten their souls!❞ 
❝ You said there was treasure!❞

❝  One time a bus made me late and i missed it- now I hate buses.❞ 
❝  Don’t let it bite your dick!❞

❝  If I wanted to watch a little girl play with her dolls, I would come here on Saturday.❞

❝  See even the robot knows you’re stupid❞

❝ why would nature conspire against man like this?❞

❝ Hey kids! Stop LARPING!❞ 
❝ DO NOT HELP HER! IF YOU HELP HER YOU WILL HAVE TO HELP HER EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!❞

❝ Are we referring to that creepy sex thing? ❞

❝ What are the people of the city supposed to do if they want something like a nice hot dog, or a chili dog- or an A.K. ❞

❝ He’s running away- like a bitch!❞

❝ Most police are down with the devil! You thought the cops were going to rescue you HELL NO they are throwing up the HORNS!❞

❝ Oh you didn’t know about our crazy zombie people running around now did you?❞

❝ You can’t just judge everything in it’s relation to predator❞

❝ You’ve only been here five minutes and you are already doing space shit!❞

❝ Look at this science nerd!❞

❝ Wow this is a thing?!❞

❝ Let’s see if I can do this without getting shot…❞

❝ Oh straight into the brain- that’s.. that’s a new one❞

❝ They can’t shoot you if you’re running- ah shit they can.❞

❝ Wow that was clutch.❞

❝ I want to shoot it- but it’s just going to kill me.❞

❝ Remember when we were doing stuff and ____ got into the vents? We couldn’t get them out for hours.❞

❝ Wow you are creepy looking.❞

❝ Where is the evil- has it taken up residence within you?❞

❝ That did not WORK AHHH❞

❝ We’ve had a lot of bad luck with lockers recently.❞

❝ I’m trying to play the fucking game asshole!❞

❝ That really got out of hand?!❞
❝ Good old blood….❞
❝ CAN YOU STOP LOOKING AT THAT?!❞
❝ Yo all these fucking ghosts man. ❞
❝ yeah- yeah OKAY! FUCK❞
❝ Sir- SIR PLEASE SIT DOWN!!❞

❝ Excuse me❞

❝ In like two seconds you are immediately trying to kill your friend.❞

❝ you tried, you tried- OH YOU TRIED REALLY HARD!❞

❝ That one time she/he drove, it was like, there was only so many orphanages that could be destroyed.❞