“Ok, I’m a little bit offended at that terminology, but I’ll let it slide. If you really wanna make history kid, I could just go down to a news station and do some stupid tricks.” Shimmer said with a small smirk. “But seriously, you can do a lot with your life that doesn’t involve raising a potentially homicidal demon. You’re 15. You’re young.”
“I mean, as like, a pet! Not – not raise them to be, uh, functional in society and stuff and super intelligent like you are – s-sorry, I’m stupid. Shoulda- sh-sh-shoulda picked better words. Stupid, stupid.” Savanna lightly popped her own mouth with the back of her hand and sighed before crossing her arms.
“… I could do a lot w-with my life, uh, that doesn’t involve what I love. But I’ve already decided I wanna do this. And if it doesn’t work.. if it.. doesn’t work.. I’ll let you kill them. O-Or Nero can, he’s tough.”
Shimmer pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh, before saying “… Okay. Okay kid. I’m trusting you. But if this doesn’t work, and the moment anything goes south, I want you to run from here as fast as you can, and don’t stop until you get somewhere safe. Don’t stop to record, don’t look back and don’t try to help me. Do you understand?” Shimmer said in a serious tone, kneeling down and placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Ah, that’s alright kid. Who needs that big bulug anyway, huh?” Shimmer said, ruffling Savannah’s hair. “But… I gotta ask. Do you absolutely know what your doing kid? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“I, uh.. only know what I read in the book. I don’t even know how that thing’s gonna respond to me if I meet it.. but… if I can trick it into thinking I’m his m-mom…”
“I-I-I.. could actually.. do something with my l-life instead of pretending to. I could make history. I-I could be the first human in the world… to domesticate a demon.”
“Ok, I’m a little bit offended at that terminology, but I’ll let it slide. If you really wanna make history kid, I could just go down to a news station and do some stupid tricks.” Shimmer said with a small smirk. “But seriously, you can do a lot with your life that doesn’t involve raising a potentially homicidal demon. You’re 15. You’re young.”
“Huh. That actually sounds… Pretty awesome.” Shimmer said. “Not the “cannibal” part, but the “raising a demon” part. But what exactly do ya need me to do?“
“Well, that’s the thing.. l-like I said, it’s a pretty rare demon… I bet it’s gonna be hard to find a new one with his mother I can take, let alone on his own where it’s less dangerous…”
“So, uh, I want you to- uh, protect me, in case other demons show up or things go sour. I can’t really ask N-Nero to do it ‘cause I don’t think he likes me anymore.”
“Ah, that’s alright kid. Who needs that big bulug anyway, huh?” Shimmer said, ruffling Savannah’s hair. “But… I gotta ask. Do you absolutely know what your doing kid? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“O-oh, uh.. well.. um.. I was reading this book, and.. and I found out about this demon that.. that needs a parental figure to be raised, or else–” Savanna awkwardly rubs her shoulder. “Or else it grows up to cannibalize– ooh, neat word– its own kind, and be even more violent and unpredictable and threatening to, uh, humanity than it normally would be. It’s a really rare demon. I know there was this really fancy name for it, but.. I just call them Blood Rushes.”
She grins nervously. “I… wanna raise one from a baby so I can protect myself better!”
“Huh. That actually sounds… Pretty awesome.” Shimmer said. “Not the "cannibal” part, but the “raising a demon” part. But what exactly do ya need me to do?“
Over my past years roleplaying I’ve put together a list of small things I occasionally need to remind myself of for whenever The Anxiety™ comes to town. Hope it can help y’all out as well!
This is not an expectation: Nobody expects anything from you, and you don’t owe anyone 1 thing. You are here for YOU and nobody else, anyone who says otherwise needs to be cut from your life bcos u don’t need that. snip snip.
Who said you had to be the best?: I find myself often trying to just be the BEST because I think it will stop me from being anxious, but it really just makes it worse. Focusing on only being the “best” takes the focus away from the fun of it.
You can’t please everyone: This goes for more than just roleplaying, but there is such a componentin anxiety that makes this extremely difficult to accept. Take a deep breath and just say it until you hear it. It’s okay, people will get mad at you, you will have bad interactions; such is life.
Icons/Promos/Art/Themes do not equal quality: I used to think I would never be quality until I had all those things, but really, it’s in the writing and interaction. I can list endless blogs that have beautiful graphics and resource, but the writing? I’ll pass.
Find your community: Probably one of the most important things I’ve learned. Surround yourself with bad people and you will have a bad time. Find the right people? Buddy I promise you’ll be having a ball.
Other people’s perception of you does not define you: Another really important thing I’ve learned. Every single person you meet will see you differently than the last, and it will always never be how you actually are. These people only see a screen and words, how can you expect them to see everything you are?
Everything is okay: And that’s it. Everything is fine. Your brain might be running itself all up but when it comes to the facts- you’re okay.
A friendly reminder that you do not have the right to police what others write on their own blogs. Just because someone is writing a darker or triggering topic does not mean that they condone it in real life / approve of it. It means they wanted to explore a darker side of things, because not everything in life is rainbows and sunshine all the time, so writing shouldn’t have to be either!
If you don’t want to see them / if something triggers you, that’s completely understandable. But, that’s what you unfollow / blacklist / block for. Definitely ask someone to tag something for you if you need it, but… stop trying to tell people what they can and can’t write. Stop sending anonymous hate, stop posting vagues about them, and for the love of god, stop trying to tell them they’re terrible, horrible, unforgivable people simply for wanting to write darker subjects!
TheWanderingSunset2 